The last time I blogged, I was sixteen years old and still in school. Adulthood and the real world were a good handful of years away. I blogged to express myself, to gush over my interests, and to keep a journal of teenage life. Social media popularity wasn’t a thing back then – my blog was my own personal space I could share with like-minded people outside of the trivialities of schooling life.
I’m now twenty-two years of age, I’m an adult and I’ve been crash-conducted into “the real world” for little while now. Should twenty-somethings really be blogging? No-one really wants to hear what you’ve got to say anymore, if they ever did, your interests aren’t as big a part of who you are as an adult, and well, if you’re still journalling, you really shouldn’t be putting that stuff on the internet.
I told myself that I’d outgrown the personal purpose of blogging, and that my new blog would have a proper direction. I wanted to have regular updates, with set topic areas, and, of course, a distinct aesthetic. What person on the Internet worth their salt doesn’t set and own their own aesthetic? It’s what forms your presence, draws your audience, and, quite frankly, looks very pretty. And so I said when I started my blog, it’d steer more towards serious writing in terms of theme and branding.
That was a good six months ago. I never started my blog. Because I wanted it to be serious, a project instead of just a hobby to fill up my free time, starting it became daunting, a chore, something to put off doing. If it wasn’t going to be good enough when I started, I wasn’t going to start it at all.
Well, I’ve started now – and no, I don’t really have a direction at all. I haven’t even got down to the technical, organisation stuff involved: my sidebars are incomplete, I don’t have a tagging system, and I’m not sure if I even like the current theme. But I did it anyway. Ironically, I think we too often let our wants and ambitions get in the way of achieving our goals. Call it idealism, or perfectionism – whatever it is, I’ve always found it a hindrance to the act of actually getting things done.
Maybe it’s a new generation thing; we want to go headlong into things and reap the immediate benefits without having to wait. As if writing is something you either have or don’t, instead of a skill to be used and developed. Or if you don’t get the instant gratification and mass following, you’re not good enough in some way. I think the point that I’m trying to make is that I want this blog to be about the process, not just the product. The act of creating is just as important as what is created – and I hope it’ll make me a better writer along the way.